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Not For Me

Normal People - Sally Rooney

Marianne let Connell in the door . His mother Lorraine cleans for Marianne’s mom. Marianne hated it at school and has no friends. She spends her lunch usually alone reading novels. Connell believes she is the smartest person at school. But she  doesn’t acknowledge Connell at school or him her. It would put Connell in an awkward position. Everyone at school thinks Connell wants Miss Leery but he doesn’t. Sometimes he thinks she flirts with him some but he doesn’t say anything. Any time Connell has had sex  he has found it stressful and largely unpleasant , leading him to suspect there’s something wrong with him, that he’s unable to be intimate with women, that he’s somehow developmentally impaired. Marianne said she knew he probably hated her but he was the only person who actually talks to her. Connell says he doesn’t hate her. Connell knows he can tell her anything about himself and she would never say anything. Marianne went with ehr school to watch a final soccer game. Connell was playing and scored a goal. It seemed insane to Marianne that she should have to dress up in a costume for school every morning and be herded around a huge building all day  that she wasn’t even allowed to move her eyes when she wanted to. After Marianne told Connell he liked her she started coming over more. Connell said he liked hearing her opinions . than Connell asked her if she only liked him as a friend and she said no. Connell said he was kinda confused how he feels and it would be awkward at school if anything happened . Marianne answered none would have to know. Then he kissed her. Connell took Marianne’s virginity and they continued sleeping together. Connell’s mother cleans Marianne’s home twice a week and Connell picked her up to take her home as she didn’t have a driver’s license. With Marianne physically sex felt right. But why Marianne? Marianne lives a drastically free life Connell thought while he was trapped by various considerations. He cared what people thought of him- even Marianne. Multiple times he had tried writing his thoughts down on paper in an effort to make sense of them. Connell’s friends were teasing him about taking Marianne home so he asked Rachel to the Debs. When Connor’s mom found out what he did by asking rachel when she knew he was sleeping with marianne and says you can have sex with her but kept it a secret  and than ask another girl to the Debs. Than she added she was ashamed of him and got out of his car to take the bus home. Once Connell told Marianne he was taking Rachel to the Debs ahd quit school and wouldn’t answer his calls. Lorraine bought it up to Marianne and she said good he doesn’t deserve you. Lorraine also told Connell he was barred from going into Marianne’s house. Than when Connell went to college he was the one who didn’t have any friends . Than he meets Garrett who is a popular guy and just happens to be Marianne’s boyfriend and now she has a lot of friends. l was like they had switched places. After Marianne quit school Connell became depressed and everyone noticed. Connell didn’t like the person he had turned into.He missed the way MArianne made him feel and he missed her company. Connell started to drink more and have anxious upsetting sex with other girls. Than when Connell is in college he has no friends than he meets Garrett who is a popular guy and happens to be Marianne's boyfriend and she now has a lot of friends, it was like they had switched places.

I just could not connect with this book or the characters. This just didn’t hold my attention enough to make it an enjoyable read for me. I’m not sure why. Although i did applaud marianne for breaking all contact with Connell.  I am sure there are other people who will really enjoy this book it just wasn’t for me.